Going into new things I tend to jump right in. I've never been one, at the pool or in life, to dip my toe in to "feel the water".
Cold or warm, I'm all in!
So when my husband decided to pursue a new career as an airline pilot, I was 100% in. I got my house and my family ready to move in a weekend. We sold our home and were out of it in two weeks.
We needed to close that door so we could fully embrace the new chapter.
I have reflected back on this decision and my unique giftedness to jump headfirst into new adventures without much hesitation often this past year.
I am glad that Joanna-five-years-ago didn't know all that the five years would entail because I think she would have been scared to go through it.
To continue with the swimming pool analogy - it's like finding out the water is not just cold but like ice-cube-temperature-cold. Your body wishes you had prepared it for the shock but you're in it now so you might as well start paddling and let your body acclimate.
Except it takes a bit longer for the heart to acclimate, doesn't it?
While I 100% am still thankful and glad that we made our career shift and became a pilot family - I have taught myself a much needed phrase that I repeat often and want to share in case you need it for yourself.
That phrase is - "That's ok. I've never been a pilot's wife before".
When Mikey is gone for weeks at a time and I'm struggling to cook a meal, clean and find homework that was due - I could tell myself that I'm not doing a good job, that I'm failing, or that I didn't sign up for this.
I used to tell myself all those things and they did not serve me.
Now when I drop the ball a hundred times in an hour, the house is a wreck and I shove the laundry over to one side so I can go to sleep at night I tell myself, "I've never done this before. I've never had a pilot husband who was gone for extended periods of time, so it's ok that I'm learning."
Telling myself this phrase? Serves me a whole lot.
I even gave the gift of this phrase to my friend who had a husband almost did, he was horribly sick (out of nowhere) and she was and is still struggling to bounce back, care for her husband, work full-time, raise the kids and also create space for her kids to process their own trauma.
"It's ok. I've never had a chronically sick husband before so I'm learning."
When I tell myself this phrase it helps me show immense kindness to myself.
It lets my body know that that I don't have to be perfect and have it all together - I have never dealt with whatever I am dealing with today.
Each new day brings its own unique lessons and challenges that we get to learn from. I can either get upset that I haven't figured it out or I can show myself.
Where can you show yourself some kindness today?
Even if the struggles you are facing today are similar to ones you've dealt with in the past you can still use this phrase.
It's okay. I've never lived this day yet and so I'm still learning how to do today.
Using this phrase doesn't excuse laziness or bad behavior. It gives you grace instead to be human.
One thing we can know for sure about being human is that we will all make mistakes. If you haven't made one yet, bravo! But trust me, it's coming. ;)
Instead of beating yourself up for making those mistakes, dropping the ball, forgetting the laundry again - you can show yourself some kindness that you're still learning how to do today.
Comment below and tell me, where are you using this phrase today?